Well, I have quite a few but the most embarrassing moment that sticks in my mind is what I refer to as the bathroom incident. Now I can imagine you have all sorts of images running through your head now; with the mention of bathroom and incident and being in the same sentence.
This incident happened when I lived in Syston, Leicestershire so I must have been in my twenties… I’m surprised I can remember that far back. I was married at the time which feels like hundreds of years ago now. Back in the days when I was about 9 stone and thought I was enormously fat lol…. wish I was that fat now!
Incident in the Bathroom
Anyway, I was desperate for a wee and I mean fit to bursting desperate for a wee. So I obviously legged it upstairs as fast as I could; not quite as fast as Usain Bolt but not far off. I started doing the “wee jig” which is a cross between an Irish dancer and a running on the spot kind of thing while trying to undo my belt and get my jeans down. Yes! high five I got the jeans down followed by underwear and sat on that loo. Such a great feeling. You know the one I mean where you can just let go and feel that relief that you made it in time and that you are amazingly talented and deserve at the very least a gold star.
Here we go
So there I was sitting on the loo feeling fantastic when I saw a huge, massive spider and I mean HUGE no that’s still not right it was HUGE, MASSIVE, MONSTEROUS. What could I do… it was a time for flight or fight. Well I wasn’t going to fight the spider it would definitely win, it was like the Frank Bruno of spiders so I legged it… yet again.. twice in one day. I hope you’re impressed because I am. Anyway, without pulling up my knickers and my jeans I legged it to the top of the stairs (as much as you can do with jeans around your ankles). Still screaming and shouting as if the world was about to end. Finally, I managed to get to the top of the stairs still shouting for my husband as I was on my escape mission.
This is it
I stood there and looked down the stairs. Relief was the first thing I felt at seeing my husband at the bottom of the stairs. However, I then noticed the front door was open and he was talking to the salesman at the door. Well, they both looked up the stairs at exactly the same time to see me stood there in all my glory doing a nice little jig and screaming spider at the top of my voice like a woman possessed. Thankfully the rest is a blur. But talk about wanting the ground to swallow you up.
I’ve got a few more of those up my sleeve to share with you but at another time.
What is your most embarrassing moment?