Best ways for falling asleep

Best Ways for Falling Asleep

As you know I have fibromyalgia which means my sleep quality is not good enough for my body’s needs.  I have to take medication which is supposed to help with that.  I don’t have a problem getting to sleep but I do have a problem that if I wake during the night I find it hard getting back to sleep.  So I am going to share with you some of the best ways for falling asleep for me and if it works for you that is fantastic.

Concentrate on your Big Toe

Yes, you read right to concentrate on your big toe.  I know how ridiculous that sounds but it works.  All you need to do is lie comfortably instead, take several deep breaths then start to think about your big toe.  

Think about how it feels, is it hot? is it cold? What can you feel touching your big toe? Then feel your toe relax and feel heavy.  Then you concentrate on your next toe; do this with each toe and then start on the other foot starting with the big toe again.

After the toes concentrate on the top of each foot and then move to the bottom of your feet.  Move to your ankles, calves, thighs, hips, tummy, waist, chest, fingers, hands, wrists, arms, shoulders, lower back, upper back, neck, face, eyes, head.  I can assure you that if you do this slowly and properly you will not get to the end of this.

Meditations for well-being

chakras
Chakras

Chakra Colour Meditation

Now if like me you have a good imagination this is a great one and there are some variations on it I will suggest too.  This can be done at night time before you go to sleep or during the day as a way of meditation or emptying and soothe a busy mind.

Get yourself into a comfortable position.  Imagine you are sat next to a big old oak tree.  You are sitting at the base of the tree, your back against the tree, your legs cross and hands comfortably resting on your legs.  

First of all, you are going to ground yourself and this is with the root chakra which is at the base of your spine, the bottom of your body.  Imagine the red root chakra connecting you to the earth grounding you to mother earth.  Imagine your chakra as a Catherine wheel of red light, use your imagination to spin the red Catherine wheel clockwise, get it spinning freely, sometimes it can take a while if you are new to this and also if there is a spiritual blockage.  As soon as you get that red Catherine wheel spinning move to the next chakra the sacral chakra.  

The Sacral chakra is a catherine wheel of Orange colour and orange sparks, using your imagination get the orange wheel spinning get it in time with the red previous wheel.  Get them both spinning freely together.  

Next move to the solar plexus chakra, a Catherine wheel of bright yellow light. Get this yellow wheel spinning clockwise in tune with the previous two.  

When it is ready move to the heart chakra, this is predominately green but can have pink intermingled too.  Get this Catherine wheel of green spinning imagine seeing some pink every now and then.  Get it spinning alongside the others, get them all spinning together.  

Now it is time to move to the throat chakra, this is a beautiful sky blue, the area of communication, get this wheel spinning as fast as the others, get them going in unison then move to the third eye chakra.  

The third eye chakra is between your eyebrows, the area of intuition, psychic ability, spirituality, creativity and inspiration.  This chakra is a beautiful amethyst purple, get that wheel spinning, make sure it is spinning in tune with the others.  Get them spinning all at the same speed.

Finally, the crown chakra is going to start spinning.  At the very top is the crown chakra, get that spinning, imagine the golden white light spinning and in time with the others.

Stay like this and now concentrate on your breathing and the colours spinning together.

Now it is time to close the chakras otherwise your energy will deplete.  Start with the root chakra, the red bottom Catherine wheel.  Imagine it slowing down, slower and slower until it eventually disappears.  This chakra has now been recharged and closed.  

Move onto the sacral chakra and imagine slowing down that orange spinning wheel of light until it fades away.  Do this with the remaining yellow light of the solar plexus, the green light of the heart, the blue light of the throat, the purple light of the third eye and finally finish with the crown chakra.  Imagine it slowing down until it disappears.  Your chakras are now safely closed and you are full of healing light.

You have now completed this meditation.  Sometimes some wheels are more difficult to spin than others which is completely normal it just means you have a bit of a blockage going on.  But just keep at it and imagine it starting slowly you will soon get it spinning the same as the others once cleared.

Rainbow Shower Meditation and Chakra Cleanse for the end of the day

If you are doing this to sleep then get comfortable in bed otherwise if it is a meditation get yourself into a comfortable position that is best for you.  

First of all, I like to start by imagining I am standing in a shower, it’s a beautiful shower, the nicest one you have ever seen.  Imagine now that your body from top to bottom is covered in a dark horrible dust which is the negative debris from the day.  The water in this shower is the exact right temperature for you.  How good is this going to feel? After a rubbish day, you have been craving this.  

Now stand in the shower cubicle and turn the dial.  Close your eyes and feel the warm water fall on your head and every part of your body.  Now imagine this lovely clean warm water is washing away all the dirt of the day.  You can see it running off, you can see the dirty water running down the plug hole until it runs clear.  As soon as every bit of negativity and debris has been washed away it is time for the beautiful rainbow coloured water.

The colour of the water is going to match and connect with your chakras within your body, cleaning and refreshing and recharging them.  The water that comes out first is for the root chakra.  The root chakra keeps you grounded and it is red, the most beautiful red you have ever seen, the colour of rubies.  

It washes over you completely, when you feel it needs to change it will change automatically to orange, for the Sacral chakra, this represents taste and is your reproduction area, the orange water is warm, deep and bright you can see it wash over you completely.  

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When it is the right time it will change to yellow which is the solar plexus, your gut, this is the area where you get those feelings, your gut instinct.  You see and feel the bright yellow water being sprayed all over your and your body soaking in the yellow water.  

Next is the time for the heart chakra, this is green with some pink every now and then, imagine this fresh green and soothing pink rush over you.

Run your hands through your hair feel this healing water over your face.  Now it turns blue, for the throat chakra, the communication area.  Feel the beautiful azure blue water flowing over you healing the area of communication.  It’s getting rid of any blockages with regards to communication.  

When you are ready the water will turn purple.   This is clearing your third eye chakra which is the area of intuition, vision, psychic abilities, connection to wisdom.  It motivates inspiration and creativity; it is situated between your eyebrows.  Feel this purple water, the colour of amethyst pouring from your head and running all over you.  

Finally, the water will turn golden, directing its healing to your crown chakra.  Now feel this warm golden colour running all over you until it slowly starts to turn from water into a light.  

You are now being showered by pure golden light, it is covering your body.  This beautiful light is surrounding you.  Breathe in the golden light and let it fill every part of your body. Again breathe in the golden light and let the outgoing breath take the internal debris of the day away from you.  Once again breathe in again, breathe in the pure golden light and fill your body.  Every single little bit.  Breathe out any internal remaining debris of the day; keep doing this until the outgoing breath is the same colour as the gold you are breathing in.  You are now fully cleansed spiritually and at peace both internally and externally.

Banishing Negative Thoughts

If you are too tired or feel like you have had a bad day get yourself into a comfortable position.  Close your eye and imagine sitting crossed legs on a beach, in a meadow, somewhere special to you.  Imagine the sights, smells, temperatures, use all your senses, breathe in and out several times.  Imagine breathing in healing white light and breathing out any negative light.  

When you feel ready imagine looking up to see a large white cloud.  Now imagine transferring all the negative things from the day transferring to this white cloud.  Get that cloud as dark as you can with anything you didn’t like about the day.  

When you feel you have filled that cloud you can start to imagine it floating away.  It is very slowly it’s moving away from you.  As you watch this cloud move you can feel the negative feelings disappearing from your body.  Keep watching the cloud get smaller and smaller.  It gets that small you can’t even see it anymore.  It’s gone.  Completely gone.  

Concentrate on your breathing once again.  Fill your body with the golden light.  When you are ready slowly open your eyes and have a glass of water.

I hope that you find these helpful.  The power of the mind on you spiritually and physically is amazing.   Practice these on a regular basis and hopefully, you will notice a difference.  I hope these are some of the best ways for falling asleep and a peaceful mind.

Once again the weekend is upon us.  I hope you are all going to be enjoying your weekend and doing something that makes you feel good.  

My love and thoughts to you all

Tracey xXx

Tracey
Tracey Ward

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Amazing things that I love and make me smile

100 Amazing things that I love and make me smile

I woke up this morning and told myself I am going to write a list of 100 amazing things that I love and make me smile; some not as amazing at others but still things that I like.  When I have a bad I can look at them and change my mindset a lot easier.  

My List

  1. My dog being happy to see me when I wake up in the morning; not sure about his tongue in my ear though
  2. That first cup of coffee in the morning, and the second and the third…
  3. Looking outside to see a beautiful azure blue sky, can’t beat it
  4. Looking at the beautiful big tree outside my house which I can see from both my bedroom and my living room even without my glasses
  5. Checking the news headlines on my phone to see what is going on in the world – I’m nosey
  6. Having a good stretch when you wake up and before you go to bed
  7. Listening to the birds singing
  8. Butterflies are just beautiful and remind me of new starts and transformations
  9. Feeding the ducks at the local reservoir – I swear they sound like they are laughing
  10. Driving with the roof down and feeling the wind in my hair
  11. Listening to some of my favourite music
  12. Singing – badly… especially to Kate Bush!
  13. Coming downstairs first thing and there are no dirty pots because you did them the night before – 
  14. Listening to the wind in the trees it’s like people whispering
  15. Rainbows – I always feel as if I am on the right path in life when I see a rainbow
  16. New make up – doesn’t happen as often as I like however
  17. A soak in the bath surrounded by candles – which are lit obviously
  18. Art
  19. A good film is always a good thing
  20. Favourite sweets – depends on my mood but currently enjoying Cadburys chocolate eclairs
  21. Empty roads –  love driving when the roads are empty, hate stopping and starting all the time
  22. Museums – I could spend hours in museums
  23. The coast at any time of year
  24. My dog “Harvey Houdini” playing with his favourite toy
  25. My Children obviously and also my adorable 2yr old grandson
  26. Mash, pie, peas and gravy
  27. Apple and blackberry crumble
  28. A good book
  29. Crossing things off a list
  30. Bembridge, Isle of Wight
  31. Osborne House, Isle of Wight
  32. Train journey through the countryside
  33. Kittens
  34. Big cats
  35. Meditating
  36. A rose that actually smells the way it should do
  37. Flowers particularly peonies
  38. Hotel Chocolat
  39. Walking through a forest and spotting a deer
  40. Building a sandcastle
  41. Celebrating your inner child
  42. Making my own candles
  43. A babbling brook
  44. Barefoot on a beach
  45. Barefoot on grass
  46. Freshly cut grass
  47. Freshly made bread
  48. Cheerios with very cold milk
  49. My bed
  50. Power nap (that’s like a normal one but you wear a cape)
  51. Getting a new book
  52. Log or coal fires
  53. A facial – my daughter is fantastic at this
  54. A cuddle – just need to find someone to cuddle now
  55. PJ days
  56. Knitting a new scarf – it’s quite meditative
  57. Writing
  58. Finding something fab in a charity shop
  59. Mindfulness
  60. Make jewellery something repetitive like kumihimo, macrame, etc
  61. Pink Lady apples
  62. Polymer clay
  63. Wandering around Waterstones
  64. Thunderstorms
  65. Betty’s Macaroons
  66. Baked beans with a twist
  67. Freshly squeezed orange juice
  68. Taking my bra off
  69. Getting my PJ’s on and fluffy socks
  70. Dairylea cheese
  71. Horses- I have always wanted to learn to ride and have my own.
  72. Fresh Snow
  73. New hair cut
  74. Do something to make someone’s day
  75. Buy someone a gift out of the blue
  76. Write a letter
  77. Eat out
  78. Turn off your phone and TV
  79. Clean sheets on the bed
  80. Look at old photos
  81. Go outside and feel the sun on my face
  82. Laughing so much it hurts and you make stupid noises
  83. Put some music on and dance
  84. New stationery, I love getting new notebooks and pens
  85. Opening a new jar of coffee and popping the seal
  86. Popping bubble wrap
  87. Starting a new jar of marmalade
  88. Finding money you forgot you had is always amazing
  89. Snuggled up on the sofa
  90. The clean feeling you have after having a shower and washed your hair
  91. Malteasers that have been kept in the fridge then melting in my mouth
  92. A really good massage with aromatherapy oils
  93. Waking up before the alarm goes off and you find you have more time to sleep
  94. Baking a cake
  95. Kicking autumn leaves
  96. Buying a new magazine
  97. That feeling you get when you undo your jeans because you’ve eaten too much
  98. This is going to sound gross but it feels great and that is cleaning your ears with a cotton bud after you have had a shower and washed your hair
  99. Singing in the car
  100. Smell of Lavender essential oil
    100 amazing things that I love and make me smile
    Cup Cakes by Tracey Ward

    I actually quite enjoyed making that list of 100 amazing things that I love and make me smile and very glad that I have done it.  Think I actually smiled all the way through that.  

    So what would you have on your list?… why don’t you let me know and leave a comment.

    Enjoy the rest of your day and will be back very soon.

    Tracey xXx

What is Love?

Come on seriously what is love?  You can’t explain it very easily you just feel it. You decide that others love you in different ways and they feel the same or not about you.   What a mixed up bag of emotions.  Peoples capacity of love and to love are so different and so complex when in reality it should be the easiest thing in the world.

What is Love?

what is love?
Embrace your inner child

Come on seriously what is love?  You can’t explain it very easily you just feel it. You decide that others love you in different ways and they feel the same or not about you.   What a mixed up bag of emotions.  Peoples capacity of love and to love are so different and so complex when in reality it should be the easiest thing in the world.

Love should be unconditional

You should never put conditions on it but we do- we all do.  For example, I will love you if you treat me in this way, I will love you if take me to work every morning.  You think to yourself, oh he will love me if I give him a blow job once a week, he will love me if I look like a page 3 model.  What the fuck are we doing to ourselves that is not love.  You are letting others judge you based on what exactly?    

Your first breath

what is love?
Baby Grandson, my daughter and me – proud Grandma

Love is unconditional.  We should never ever place conditions on it.  There is only one time in your life when you have ever been loved unconditionally and you have loved unconditionally and this is the day you were born.

You came into this world when no one knew you and you knew no one.  Your parents looked at you and loved you unconditionally right at that moment you were truly loved unconditionally and you as a baby loved your parents unconditionally.  It’s only as we start to grow and start to get judged by people that we start to change.  

We try to make others happy, or happier or make them feel like the best thing since sliced bread because you expect something in return for it… well don’t!.  You do it because you want to do it with no expectations.  Well, you know what they did start out as being the best thing since sliced bread because of there being no conditions expected or placed.

Other Peoples Opinions

And something else do you know what other people think of you is actually none of your damned business because for one they don’t know you and secondly that’s their personal thoughts, not yours.  I have spent so much of my life worrying about what other people think of me… what the fuck was I thinking?  I must have been off my rocker.  Who taught me to become that person?  While doing that I was denying myself life… a voice… to be part of creation.  I’ve wasted 48 years of trying to please people who either don’t care about me, don’t love me and don’t actually really know me.  What a waste of precious time.

The World Is Your Oyster

Who would I be right now if I had started off with the right mentality?  The world is my oyster and you know what it is yours too.  The person who is stopping that is yourself.  You can’t blame the person you live with, the habits you have formed.  Thoughts are actually real things and they create actions and reactions which create movement but it’s up to you which direction they take you.

Like Attracts Like

You think negatively you will attract negativity it’s as simple as that.   Imagine yourself as a magnet, and you want to attract positive things into your life the only way you are going to do that is by thinking about positive things.

My Life

I know I am not going to be spending the next 48 years worrying about what other people think of me.  If I want to have another tattoo I’m going to have another tattoo, if I want to dye my hair pink I shall do, I will wear what I want and because I feel good in it and that’s all that matters.    People will always judge regardless so fuck em.. do it anyway… please yourself… love yourself… be proud of who you are, the journey you’ve travelled, the things you’ve accomplished.  Life is so incredibly short.  What is love to you?

Do I Believe In God?

Someone asked me the other day if I believed in God.  Well, I don’t believe in the god that society expects us to believe in but I do believe there is something that is difficult to put into words.  We are all energy and energy does not and can not disappear it just turns into something else.  I believe this world is nothing but a series of lessons we have to learn before we graduate to the higher realm whatever or wherever that may be.  God is basically about creation, and we are here to create… to live and to experience.    We are spiritual beings in a human body having human experiences then we will go back to being a spiritual being on another higher plane.  

Pause

Wouldnt you want to look back on your life and have pride in what you have accomplished, and in the unconditional love and the help that you gave to others.    Again I mean what is love? Shouldn’t we just start trying to love people for who they are… don’t judge others; you don’t have that right… don’t put people down…. what gives you the right?    Every single one of you is unique… we are not sheep.. 

Shine

Shouldn’t we just start trying to love people for who they are… don’t judge others; you don’t have that right… don’t put people down…. what gives you the right?    Every single one of you is unique… we are not sheep..   You need to find that inner glow and let it shine.  We all need to shine.  So let’s shine together.

These are my beliefs and what my soul believes.  I think that was the journey I had to take to get to this point in my life, it had to take me 48 years to learn that lesson.    The next chapter is going to be a fulfilling one on a physical, emotional, practical, and spiritual level.  I have new friends to make, a partner in crime to find, laughter to fill my belly, new experiences, hobbies, adventures, new sensations, new everything.  

I am going to start my journey with a plan.  An actual physical plan where I picked up a pen and write down what I am going to do, where I am going and how I am going to get there.  I am also going to start meditating again followed by some stretching exercises.  You have to start with self-love as a wise person once said, you can not pour from an empty cup.  

Talking of wise people I want you to look up on Bob Proctor, and maybe read one of his books.  All about changing your mind set and attracting positive things into your life.  I don’t get any money for referring you to his site or anything I just think he is an amazing person to learn from.

So I can do it I’m sure you can too…

High five Wardy… 

Tracey xXx

 

 

Reopening of a Tattoo Shop

Reopening of a Tattoo Shop

Today I am writing on behalf of a very very good friend of mine.  His name is Lee and he is a tattooist and also a very talented artist and this article is about the re-opening of a tattoo shop; in fact his tattoo shop.

Down but not out

I won’t go into too much detail because it is personal to Lee, but Lee had set up his shop earlier in the year and due to an extreme and unprecedented series of personal events he recently had to close it.   But Lee who I can assure you is a survivor and not a victim has thankfully decided to kick the bad shit in the ass and get on with his life and doing what he does best… Tattooing…. and…. art!

Details

Now he has until the 16th August to get clients booked in so he can keep the shop up and running, and I have promised him I would help as much as I can.  Hence today’s blog post.   The premises are in Ripon, North Yorkshire, a beautiful market town not far from Harrogate, Leeds and York.  This is a perfect location for the reopening of a tattoo shop.

Needed

Now what is needed right now is clients old and new.  As I mentioned Lee needs a client list before the 16th and bookings in.  I believe Lee is offering a discount for the first few clients so the earlier you get booked in the better.   Please contact me on this blog or by my facebook page and I will pass the information on to Lee on your behalf.

Examples of Tattoos by Lee

reopening of a tattoo shop
Butterfly by Lee Devor
eye tattoo by Lee Devor
Eye Tattoo by Lee Devor
rose tattoo by Lee Devor
Rose Tattoo by Lee Devor
tattoo by lee devor
Tattoo by Lee Devor
lion tattoo by lee devor
Lion Tattoo by Lee Devor
cover up tattoo by Lee Devor
Cover Up Tattoo by Lee Devor
Lion Tattoo by Lee Devor
Lion Tattoo by Lee Devor

Impressive work don’t you think?

Art Work

morgan freeman in pastel by Lee Devor
Morgan Freeman in pastel by Lee Devor
pastel artwork by Lee Devor
Pastel Artwork by Lee Devor
old man in Pastel by Lee Devor
Old Man in Pastel by Lee Devor

I do believe that Lee has several pastel pieces for sale and I will either be adding them to my shop or posting the link to Lee.  I will let you know after seeing him.

Please do the following

I would be so so very grateful if you could share this post, like this post and even comment on this post.   

We need to get Lee back up and running doing what he does best.

Tracey xXx

Another Disastrous Date

Another Disastrous Date

Because my last post about a disastrous date was so popular I thought I’d write about another disastrous date.

Mr Small

Now then Mr Small as you can guess was small he was called that for two reasons, but I’m only going to talk about one of them.  I’m 5’3 and I guess he was only one inch taller which isn’t a problem; I’ve dated small men before.  

First Date

I met this guy at a cafe on the way to York.  Initially, I thought for his age he wasn’t bad looking;  I think he was about 10 years older than me and we seemed to get on ok, in fact well enough to meet for a second time and actually a third time.  

Second Date

Now the second date was a meal at his house made by him.  I was quite impressed that he wanted to cook me a meal.  I think we had chips and ribs or something very similar to that.  So, dinner was served and I took my place at the table, picked up my knife and fork and started to eat.  No problem at all with the food but when I looked up Mr Small was eating like a pig, he did not use his cutlery but he was using his hands.  Bearing in mind this is the second date so you should really be making a bit more of an effort.  But this guy was really chowing down, his head was about 3 inches above the plate and he was just shovelling it in.  

Third date

I mean this should have put me off, but because he seemed really nice I thought I’d give him another chance.  So, the third date came.  We went for a drink at a pub.   He picked me up and we had a few drinks.  The evening was pleasant enough and the night came to an end and he kindly dropped me off at home.  

However, before I got out the car he leant in for a kiss, it was going really well until for some bizarre reason, mid snog, he put one of his fingers into my ear and started wiggling it really fast.   I kid you not!  

Yep another disastrous date

What the fuck is that all about?  I mean really!  Has anyone else ever experienced this ear wiggling thing?  Is it some kind of secret fetish I don’t know about?   All I can say is it didn’t do anything for me… 

another disastrous date
Give us a kiss but leave my ear alone

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Competition Time

Competition Time

As you may have guessed it is competition time.  The first of many I hope. The competition will be run on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter and via this blog page.  

The winner will receive

The winner will receive a free signed paperback copy of my book “Why Rainbows May Cry”.  This is a collection of poems by myself.  It is about my dating experiences good and bad over the past couple of years.  Please be aware that several poems do contain swear words.

why rainbows may cry poetry book
Why Rainbows May Cry by Tracey Ward

Ways to Enter

Instagram

To enter on Instagram please go to my Instagram account, like the competition post, leave a comment and tag a friend who you think would also like to enter.

Twitter

To enter on Twitter please go to my Twitter account. Like, follow, and retweet with the hashtag TraceyWardMe

Facebook

To enter on Facebook please go to my Facebook account.  Like the post and page, share, leave a comment and tag someone who you think would like to enter.

Blog

To enter via this blog please leave a comment and subscribe.

The competition will end on 1 September 2017.  Good luck to everyone that enters.

And so, we have come to another Friday, is it me or is time flying by this year.  This past week, in particular, seems to have gone very quickly.  Anyway enough of my ramblings.  Everyone have a fantastic weekend and speak again soon.

Tracey xXx

 

Lip Synch Haircut Day

Lip Synch Haircut Day

Well, today is lip synch haircut day.  Time for a bit of pampering and a lovely head massage courtesy of Hamish and Dan at Joseph Ferraro Hairdressing on Leeds Road.  Just need to give Hamish a shout out actually he officially qualified and finished his training yesterday.   Get yourself booked in; you’ll get treated like a princess; tell him I told you so and you never know you might get an extra bit of flapjack – I’ll be getting told off now; cheeky mare.  

2017 Hairdressing Awards

Actually, before I forget Joseph is again a finalist in the 2017 Hairdressing Awards and I’m not surprised he works miracles as do all the staff.

joseph Ferraro Hairdressing
Hair by Hamish at Joseph Ferraro

Copious amounts of coffee were drunk as I was up very late last night getting distracted with one film after another.  Followed by an early start it’s not good especially at my age.

 

BDF85AA5-4508-4DCC-8DD3-EEFF8F6F56CF

Not sure why but was feeling in a very mischievous mood this afternoon it must be all the pain killers I’m on at the minute, think my brain is in planet la la land.  

So as I was high as a kite on caffeine and practicing with my speaker, microphone (still not working properly) and video practice I did a bit of lip synching for you as it mentions hair in it I chose one of my favourites Bohemian Like You by The Dandy Warhols.

Don’t Laugh – well actually you can laugh a lot, this must have been the 20th take FFS.  I’ve got so much to learn with regards to technical stuff.  Please don’t take it seriously as it is definitely tongue in cheek.

In the meantime enjoy your Wednesday or what is left of it and I will be back tomorrow.

Future lip synch songs on request lol – I’m joking.

Tracey xXx

 

 

Say Hi to a Stranger

Say Hi to a stranger

How many times have you said Hi to a stranger?  The other day, I came out of the grocery store and was about to load my groceries into my car. Then a car pulled up next to mine to park. As soon as the car pulled up, I could see that its window was open, and I heard a female voice say, “Hi!”

say hi to a stranger
You Can

Are you talking to me?

At first, I wasn’t sure if the lady was talking to me because she said “Hi” even before she had stopped the car! And she said it like she was talking to somebody she knew.

But when I realised she was talking to me, I said “Hi” back.

Then she got out of the car and said: “I was over at the other grocery store. But then, I thought to myself, ‘You know what, I like this grocery store better.’”

And then she went on to tell me how the other grocery store is expensive, and the only thing they really do better than this grocery store is “meats.” So, I’m just listening and interjecting every now and then. She went on for about five more minutes.

Before I knew it, I had learned that she had two children (a son and a daughter). And that she was going to visit her daughter and three grandchildren in Los Angeles next week.

She ended by saying she was ditching the other grocery store in favor of this one, because this one really is the best grocery store. Then she told me to have a nice day, and she left to do her shopping.

Whew!

After she left, I started thinking, “Wow. That lady is a great conversationalist. She has mastered the art of small talk.”

She didn’t know me. But she pulled me right into her world.

I was a captive audience.

People say that “talk is cheap.” But, the way I see it, small talk is priceless and can be the starting point for building great relationships.

Knowing what to say and how to say it can be challenging at times. The important thing is to be prepared with conversational ammunition.

With that in mind, here are some simple strategies to deploy whenever you’re faced with the bone-chilling, nail-biting, jaw-dropping task of how to make small talk.

say hi to a stranger
I was a captive audience

Introduce Yourself

Yep! Just say, “Hi.” Like the lady at the grocery store. There’s something about the idea of going up to someone and saying “Hi” that fills many with an unshakeable sense of horror. But, being the first to say “Hi” doesn’t have to be horrific.

Besides, research shows that people prefer to be greeted that way. So, acknowledge your fear, and then do it anyway.

Be bold. Live dangerously. Say “Hi” to a stranger

I know . . . it goes against everything our parents taught us. But, we’re adults now. We can do this.

The worst that can happen is that the person doesn’t say hello back. In that case, you would just move on. But think back on an occasion when someone introduced himself to you. Were you offended? Nope. You probably appreciated the gesture.

If you start the conversation, the other person will silently thank you because he or she will be relieved of that responsibility. It’s likely they were standing there shaking in their boots trying to figure out how to start a conversation and with whom. Then you appear with a smile and a “hello.”

You’re not an intruder. You’re a lifesaver

So, the next time you feel reluctant to start a conversation, just say this to yourself: “I could be saving a life.” Then go forth fearlessly.

say hi to a stranger
Don’t worry I’m here

Talk About the Weather

Heat waves. Cold spells. Thunderstorms. Snowfall. Believe it or not, weather is one of the most popular small-talk topics. So, if the weather has got you down or is brightening your day, talk about it. Finding a common, real-time experience is a non-threatening way of beginning a conversation, whatever the situation. Weather is always observable, so it’s the perfect conversation starter when you can’t think of anything else.

People tend to bond over common experiences. Small talk about the weather can establish a sense of camaraderie, while still allowing you to remain non-intrusive and uncontroversial. Then, you can guide the conversation into other topics.

Ask Appropriate Questions

“I love that shirt. Where did you get it?”

Asking appropriate questions is a great way to make conversation. Many people love to talk about themselves — all you have to do is listen.

Keep it general. Ask about their interests, hobbies, or work. A good conversationalist is a good listener, but also contributes. Share your thoughts and stories and piggyback on what they say, to keep the conversation going.

say hi to a stranger
Ask a question

Keep Up with Current Events

It’s a good idea to keep up with current events so when you do say hi to a stranger you’ve got something to talk about. People often discuss local and national news. If you’re unaware of recent news, it may be more difficult to contribute to a conversation. Scan the headlines for stories that might appeal to a general audience.

say hi to a stranger
Keep up with current affairs

Keep it Light

Try to avoid negative or controversial topics. Avoid discussing relationship problems, health issues, or other personal matters. Small talk is chitchat. Light conversation. Not an opportunity to be nosy.

say hi to a stranger
Small Talk

Don’t be Boring

Make the conversation interesting. Share a story or something funny that happened to you.

Relax

It’s just conversation. And they’re just people. Most people would welcome the opportunity to talk to a friendly stranger who (with a little luck) might just become a friend.

You can never predict how a conversation will progress, when you say hi to a stranger, which is probably why the idea of making small talk is nerve-racking for many.

But being prepared and having a few conversational strategies up your sleeve will help you prepare for whatever social encounters are thrown your way.

So now be brave and go and say Hi to a stranger.

say hi to a stranger
Say Hi to a stranger

You say Hi to a stranger then let me know how it goes… 

Tracey xXx

Blog Input and images courtesy of Shana Douglas

My worst ever date

My worst ever date – Oh, this was an easy one for me, my worst ever date.  I can’t remember his name now because I changed it on my phone to read creepy old git.   Actually creepy should be in capital letters, bold and underlined at least five times.

My worst ever date

Oh, this was an easy one for me, my worst ever date.  I can’t remember his name now because I changed it on my phone to read creepy old git.   Actually creepy should be in capital letters, bold and underlined at least five times.

When did the date take place?

This, my worst ever date, happened approximately four years ago.  We did the usual chatting on the dating site thing; which was called Badoo (please guys do not use this site it is the worst I have come across it attracts weirdos like you wouldn’t believe).  Now I was pretty naive about dating sites and dating full stop back then.  He did have a photo on his site but it was very small and could just make out he had dark hair and that was about it.  

Texting

We seemed to get on reasonably well so I gave him my number and we progressed to texting each other.   I think we texted for a couple of weeks maybe; it could have been less.  I remember he was in sales of some sort; which I hate to admit to now but if someone is in sales I don’t go on a date with them, as a rule, I just find them too pushy.   Texting progressed to speaking on the telephone and he seemed to have a nice voice, a little pushy I thought but not too bad.

Meeting Arrangements

Because a little bit of me was a bit cautious I definitely wanted to meet him in a very public place.  He suggested McDonald’s at a local retail park.  Last of the big spenders I know.  It’s hardly a romantic setting but thank god it wasn’t. 

First Glimpse

We decided to meet outside the Boots store.  As I was walking up to the store I noticed a bloke looking in my direction, I can tell you hand on heart I had a little bit of sick in my mouth.  First of all, he looked about 20 years older than he said he was.  But, I’m really sorry Alan Titchmarsh fans, he looked like a cross between Alan Titchmarsh and a Chuckle brother, leaning more towards the chuckle brother.   I did not find him attractive at all, not one little bit and his eyes were just dead; I mean scary dead.

McDonalds

I said hello when I really wanted to say goodbye but as the big softy chicken that I am I reluctantly walked with him across to McDonald’s, knowing full well I wanted to be going in the opposite direction and fast.  I kept telling myself it’s just a quick coffee then I can go.  We got our coffees sat down and he had this unbearable loud voice, he kept making comments as if we were a solid done thing, practically engaged.  I was so embarrassed, he kept touching my hand and my arm, my hair, everyone kept looking over and I was starting to feel nauseous.  I changed the subject from “us” to horses.  He had a couple of horses and I love horses so thought it would be a good way to change the subject. 

Photos

His face lit up when I got onto the subject of horses.  He promptly got out his phone and started showing me the photos of his horses.  Then he gave me the phone to hold and told me to have a look, so I kept swiping trying to be polite and gave him the phone back, but his response was, “no there is more”.  Well oh my fucking god wasn’t there just.  The next photo was of him in women’s underwear including stockings and high heels kneeling on a double bed. I remember looking up at him and looking at the phone again; it was definitely him.   I didn’t know whether to laugh, cry, or be sick.  

At this point the deadness in his eyes made me feel very nervous and uncomfortable combined with the photo I had in front of me.  I think I mumbled something along the lines of “this is you” talk about quoting the bloody obvious.  His reply was even worse, he told me he had them in his car if he wanted me to see him in them.   Woahhh neddy no thank you.

Making Excuses

It was at this point he for some reason thought the date was going swimmingly.  He was now trying to convince me as we had finished the coffee we should sit in his car and have a chat.  Needless to say, I turned him down on this generous offer of his.  I made some excuse to this day I can’t remember exactly what and told him I had to get home for whatever reason.  I told him I’d call him (I had no intention of doing so in the slightest) and started to walk away.

Got to my car

My car was getting closer and closer and I was starting to feel safer and more relieved the closer I got.  I could not wait to get inside and drive off.   I clicked the remote earlier than usual and finally got in and was so relieved.  As I put the key into the ignition my car door opened and I turned around.  Next thing you know I have his tongue down my throat –   I kid you not!   I have never felt so repulsed or sick before.  He obviously thought we were going to live happily ever after – no way, no way on this earth pal.   I pushed him away trying to remain calm and told him I’d call him.

Cake

I locked my doors straight away and put my friend on the loudspeaker as I sped off.  I asked her if she had cake because I needed to get the taste of him out of my mouth.  I’d never wanted to eat cake so much in my life.  As soon as I got there I started to tell her about what happened between us both we went through quite a few emotions and gladly ended up laughing about it; my close encounter with a chuckle brother – from me to you…. 

Lesson Learnt

I have learned from this experience.  I now refuse to meet anyone who only has one photo and wherever possible do not meet anyone unless I have a conversation via skype first.  If I had had a skype video conversation with this bloke I would never have been in that situation.  I just would not have met him full stop.

So guys learn from my errors and I hope you never end up with this guy or anyone similar.  

If you want to share your disastrous dating experiences please do.

It’s Friday which means a weekend is upon us.  Everyone have a great one and be happy in whatever it is you do.  

my worst ever date
Tracey

Tracey xXx

10 things you should experience in Life

10 things you should experience in life. So this list of 10 things you should experience in life could be so enormous and because of this, it might be something I will keep coming back to every month.

10 Things you should experience in life

So this list of 10 things you should experience in life could be so enormous and because of this, it might be something I will keep coming back to every month.

put yourself first
Put yourself first
  1. Give money to charity without mentioning it on social media.  
  2. Meet someone famous without taking a photo.
  3. Go somewhere beautiful and look at the view, not the viewfinder.
  4. If you don’t understand something, ask a question.
  5. Visit an elderly relative on a day that’s not their birthday.
  6. Tell someone who serves you in a shop what a great job they’re doing.
  7. Go a day without your favourite website.
  8. Try a day without any Internet access.
  9. Go a weekend without Internet access.
  10. Now try a week without Internet access.

    I’d love to know how many people could cope with numbers 9 and 10.

    10 things you should experience in life – any Suggestions?

    If you have anything you would like me to add please leave me a comment.

    Tracey xXx

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