Thing’s I wish I’d Known
A letter to my younger self is what today’s post is all about and this is because this morning a large envelope came through the door and I thought it looked a bit ominous so I hesitated a bit before opening it. However, open it I did and was shocked to see it was an invite to have a mammogram test. It occurred to me at that time I’m not as young as I think I am if I’m getting this request.
Now obviously I have never had this done before and thought it would be a good opportunity to write about the whole thing as it happens so others know what to expect. As I said it has also made me think about my age and what I would say to my younger self if given the chance. So today’s post is a letter to my younger self.
A Letter To My Younger Self
You don’t know me yet but I am you; honestly, this letter comes from the future you and I want to tell you a few things so get comfortable, listen to what I have to say and I repeat; listen!
First of all, I want you to know it was not your fault your parents divorced and it is not your job at six years old to be a parent to your mother and your sister. By all means be there for them but don’t accept any of the blame. Any demonstrations of anger, bitterness, resentment, jealousy are not yours to witness.
You girl need to start putting yourself first. You don’t need to lie to people when they ask where your father is; just tell them the truth. This is not a burden for you to carry or neither is it an embarrassment. It’s just a life event, a sad one yes but it is also a lesson for a few and if they don’t learn from that lesson and move forward in life that is their decision and nothing you should feel bad about.
Make the most out of school or you will regret it when you get older. My English and Maths results were not as good as I needed them to be. At the time it won’t bother you but when you get older and you want to be a midwife, a teacher, you will have to study them all over again and take the time to sit the exams so you can get on a suitable course. The problem is then life can get in the way and your dreams can be dashed. So study and study hard so you have more choices for your future career.
As for career, you make sure you follow your dreams. Don’t be an office worker just because your parents told you to be. Make yourself a career doing something you love. If it is a hobby you love doing keep doing it until you get good enough to make a living out of it. Life is too short to be doing a job you hate, for people who you don’t know or respect or like.
You’ll be working for a long time so make sure it is something that leaves you fulfilled. I suggest you start writing a lot and now as you are good at it and you benefit from its healing powers. Study all the things that interest you, art, writing, psychology, and make time to play.
Play is so important at any age. Take time to read, write, paint, draw, sew, just be as creative as you can and all the time. Go to the coast more you will love it and surround yourself with nature and good people. Don’t waste time on people who do not respect you, do not love you, do not show their love for you, because they won’t change and they will just drain you and bring you down to their level like a sponge just zapping your energy and leave you exhausted and empty.
Don’t believe everyone is as honest as you are. Make sure you listen to your gut. It never lies and you give people too many chances. When your gut tells you, someone is not good for you they really aren’t. Don’t give them another chance because they will just hurt you all over again and even worse. Peoples capacity to love is not the same as yours as everyone is different and their needs are different. But don’t be in a relationship where everything is one-sided it needs to be nurturing and from both sides.
Laughter is so important. Make sure you laugh at least once a day and if nothing makes you laugh just laugh anyway it makes you feel alive and gives your soul a workout. Fill your days with things and people that make you smile and make you laugh.
One of the biggest things I want to tell you is to not give a shit what other people think about you. It’s none of your business. You just be the best person you can be but do it for you and not to seek others approval, or attention as this is a really negative thing.
If you want to dye your hair pink do it! If you want a tattoo – get it! and if you want to swim in a river – do it! If you want to run outside naked when there’s a thunderstorm – do it! Fill your life with experiences that you want to feel deep inside. Live your life doing the things that make you happy and don’t worry what others will think about you.
There are no rules about what you must be or do; society has just stuck its nose in where it’s not wanted or needed. This is your life to live so damn well start living it and don’t worry about it. As long as what you say or do does not hurt anyone then just do it!
Don’t even think of smoking. It’s a disgusting habit and not only does it make you look like a druggy trying to get their next fix, it kills you and others around you. Fill your lungs instead with fresh air and as much as possible. You need to be more active too. If you don’t you will become ill and not in a good way. Eat healthier, it’s ok to have treats but make sure you eat plenty of fruit and vegetables and less processed food and drink more water – you don’t drink enough. Oh, and standing up while you eat chocolate means the calories don’t exist is a downright lie so put it down right now!
Try not to give all of yourself away; keep a bit back just for you. You can’t pour from an empty cup. You need to nurture yourself, pamper yourself more and don’t feel guilty about it. Don’t worry about your kids they will be just fine. Just love them and enjoy the time you get to spend with them as they will grow up so fast. Let them make mistakes as it’s their life lessons to learn just be there when they need you which you will be.
You also need to smile more lady you’re beautiful even though you don’t know it. You’re not fat, you’re not ugly, you’re not shy, you just want to be loved for who you are and you will be and by the people that matter.
Be there for others as it is what you do well and it makes you feel good inside. Make a difference to the world in only the way that you can and ignore those that scoff, take the mick, don’t understand. They are just bitter, jealous and insecure but that is their problem, not yours.
If you can sleep at night knowing you have done nothing to hurt anyone that day then all is good. If your intentions are pure nothing else matters. You must give and not expect anything in return. Karma will work its magic either in this life or the next. Although I hope we don’t come back one go at this is enough for me.
Keep in touch with your friends from school they gave you some of the happiest memories and you shared some good times together. When you think back to those times it will be with a smile on your face and affection and love in your heart.
Right girl now listen to me here this is important. Men… yep you won’t believe this but you don’t need them in your life. Doesn’t mean you won’t have one and be happy but you need to learn to be happy by yourself and in yourself before you can be happy with one of them. And yes, they really do come from Mars! Keep away from dating sites they are full of freaks instead take up hobbies and get involved with different things. When a bloke messes you around just get rid – no second chances.
Love will come to you when it is meant to and not before so until that time enjoy life to the full. Do me a favour lady – grasp it with two hands by the balls and feckin live it for me in a way that I should have done. No excuses. Also, I love you girl and you have made me proud.
In the meantime, I’ll be waiting for you chick.
Time to read it back
Wowzer wasn’t expecting some of that to come out. Obviously needed saying and so glad I did this post today. Very cathartic and energising in a lot of ways. I didn’t think I’d know what to say to myself but I obviously did. I hope you enjoyed reading this; a letter to my younger self and maybe you should have a go at doing it too. It’s made me think about a lot of things today. To the point, I think I will have a bit of a spring in my step.
I think the lesson to learn is, to be honest not just with others but importantly with yourself. You’re not stupid, you are not a lemming meaninglessly following the crowd. You are an individual and that is something to celebrate completely and utterly. Amongst everything else just be yourself. Dead fish don’t swim upstream.
Enjoy your Monday and have a fabulous week doing what you love.
ps. don’t forget; a letter to my younger self. Do it and see what comes out of it you may be surprised.