Time For A Physical And Emotional Clearout
Today’s post is 28 things to let go of in life and is all about things that we need to get rid of that drag us down and keep us in a place where we no longer need to be. These are things that stop us from reaching our life goals and things that drain us physically and emotionally.
So give them a read and see if any of them relate to you and then think about if they are things that you need to resolve one way or another.
This week I got rid of a big noose around my neck. I split up with one of my exes about 5 years ago. I loved him more than anything I absolutely adored the bloke and thought we would be together forever. Without going into details he broke my heart but I never stopped loving him and we have been texting ever since. However, he now lives down in Bristol so he isn’t on my doorstep in the slightest.
Our texts increased from January and I have invited him up on several occasions because he told me he thought we would get back together and he wanted to see me. He never has. Monday this week I had a lightbulb moment as if someone had taken off my blinkers and I saw him for the first time for what he really is.
I don’t know why it has taken me this long to accept it as being over but I am so glad that it did. I sent him a long message on Monday telling him that basically I deserved better and he treated me like shit and I blocked him. Now I feel 10 tonnes lighter and actually free and that is a good feeling. A huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I’m telling you this because sometimes we cling on to what we know; it is almost like a comfort blanket. It can be scary moving forward but when you actually take that step you realise that actually, it’s not that bad; in fact, it’s a bloody good feeling; I feel liberated.
28 Things To Let Go Of In Life
So here is a list of 28 other things to let go of in life:
Worrying about what has happened in the past – Speaks for itself really doesn’t it? You can’t change anything that has happened in the past. I regret a lot of things and used to beat myself up about stuff all the time. I have had to forgive myself and move on. Put the things down to experience and learn from them.
The need to be in control of everything – Now this is a personality trait that I would hate to have. To be that way all the time your stress levels must be through the roof constantly. The one thing I know about stress is that it creates a high level of cortisol in your body which isn’t good. It also leads to overeating. The answer here is to compromise. You can’t control everything it is physically impossible and if you are this way people just don’t want to be around you. Lighten up and have faith in others and life.
The idea of a perfect life – There is no such thing. There is nothing wrong with having dreams and fantasies but you can’t keep comparing your life to someone else’s or something that just isn’t going to happen. We need to remember that all that glitters is not gold. Your perfect life exists you just can’t see it and are possibly focussing on the wrong things.
Fear of the unknown – This was something I spent most of my life doing but it is only natural to fear the unknown but we need to understand that this is a complete waste of energy. There is no reason whatsoever that you should fear the unknown. The unknown doesn’t exist; at all – so why stress about it?
Unhealthy relationships – I have talked about this above with regards to one of my exes. Get rid seriously! If someone doesn’t bring anything good into your life or anything of value then you don’t need them in it. I also blocked and deleted a so-called friend this week. A friend who was an emotional leach and a compulsive liar. It’s a good feeling that delete and block I suggest you give it a go.
Worrying about things you can’t change – we all have moments like this but if it is something that you definitely can’t change you need to accept that fact so that you can move forward. Again you are wasting precious energy and time that you could be using on something more positive.
Clothing you haven’t worn in a year – I recently had a clear out. I have recently started to go through my clothes and I have found stuff that I had back in 2000 and haven’t worn since then either. That’s 18 bloody years can you believe that? I am terrible at getting rid of stuff but I got rid of 2 bin bags full. I know there is still stuff to get rid of so will be doing it again over the weekend. I am going to need a lot of bin bags but it will feel good getting rid.
A job you hate – I have been there so many times. There is nothing worse than going to bed dreading the next day. Waking up and having to drag yourself to a place you don’t want to be. I know a lot of people don’t like their job but they can put up with it and that is ok. But if your job is seriously affecting your stress levels it is time to leave. I know easier said than done but if you are putting in serious effort to find somewhere better you are taking control of that situation. It can also be a good time to reconsider your career. Maybe you could retrain in something – it is never too late and I am proof of this.
Overscheduling your life – don’t try and cram shit loads of stuff into your day because when you can’t fit it all in or you will start beating yourself up about it and start feeling overwhelmed. A lot of people use lists and I am one of them and they are fantastic.
There are 2 ways to do this depending on your personality. If you are the kind of person who gets stressed and overwhelmed just have 3 things on your list and no more. At night before you go to bed write down the 3 things that you need to complete the following day. 3 things are doable.
Now the other way to do it is at night before you go to bed write a list of everything and the following day tick off things as you go along and at night write the things you haven’t done at the top of the list and do this as a rolling list. This second example is what I used to do when I was a personal assistant. It’s a good way to prioritise your work and life but only if you will not get stressed by the big list.
Comparing yourself to other people – I don’t know why we do this. It’s a load of bollocks it really is. Someone else’s life is none of your business and the chances are it is not as rosy as they are making out. I see it on Facebook all the time. People posting photos making out how wonderful their life is; the sad thing is they are trying to convince themselves not you. If they were really having this amazing life they would be too busy living it to have time to post photos etc convincing others.
Placing your partner on an unrealistic pedestal – No one is perfect they really aren’t and if they were they would be pretty boring I think. The problem is you are expecting them to be a certain way when they really can’t be. You need to be realistic your partner is human just like you and sometimes we fuck up; it’s part of life. You are just setting them up for a fall.
Your insecurities – we all have them but the more we concentrate on them the more it holds us back in life. You become frightened to do or try anything new because you think you are going to fail at everything so you do nothing. You then experience nothing and your life becomes boring and stagnant. Be a devil… throw caution to the wind… Don’t be your own worst enemy… live your life and love it while you have the chance – because one day you won’t be able to. Don’t waste it worrying or feeling you are not good enough. The only person that thinks that is you and that’s just bloody stupid!
A negative body image – We have all been here all of us and men included. Society has a huge part in this and the press and social media. We are constantly fed false images of what society thinks we should be and what we should look like. We are constantly comparing ourselves to celebrities and unrealistic goals on a daily basis.
These people are not “real”. They don’t live a normal life. Also, the chances are the images have been photoshopped ridiculously. To be honest I would go through Instagram and delete any of these people that you think you need to live up to and be like. It won’t ever happen so you will be constantly beating yourself up about it and feeling negative about your own body and what you have.
These guys are under so much pressure and have a team of experts on hand 24/7. Be the best that “you” can be and that is perfect for you. I used to hate my body and some days I still do but I’ve got to the point in life where I am me and I know I can’t be anything else. It’s a case of you either love me or hate me but this is me and if a bloke judges me on my flabby tummy then they can do one. This flabby tummy is the trophy of having 3 beautiful children.
Fear of failure – I was guilty of this for years. The fear of failing at something keeps you in a place you shouldn’t be. If you don’t try you don’t know and so what if you do fail?; What’s the worst thing that could happen? At least you know you tried. Not doing anything just in case it doesn’t work is just plain stupid. You might even surprise yourself; you might actually succeed then what will you do?
Clutter in your home – I am the worlds worst for this but I’ve started this week. I am going to go through each room and as with the clothes I am going to get rid of anything that I’ve not used for a year. It can get donated or taken to charity shops. It’s amazing how de-cluttering can have an amazing effect on you. I started on my bookcase last weekend and will be doing it again this weekend. I need to be more ruthless and just get rid. Not being able to find things just causes you unnecessary stress it really does.
Procrastinating on everything – This is something else I’m bad at. I have so much to do and so much going on it becomes overwhelming and half of the time you end up doing something else instead of doing what you are supposed to be. This is where again the lists come in. Lists are the future I’m telling you.
Overspending – To me, this is a bit like comfort eating. It can be something we do when we feel bad and sad and again it can be something we do also to reward ourselves. I’ve been there gone and bought something then got home and thought to myself why the hell did I buy that then you realise you can’t afford it and you don’t even need it.
One of the answers here is to try and de-stress as it could be a reaction to that trigger. Also, do a budget. You might have more going out of your account than you think. There are some great ones online and also I think Citizens Advice may have templates. You could also get a calendar or diary and write in all the incomings and outgoings and write your bank balance each day on the calendar. You might surprise yourself.
Your pride – Some people just won’t ask for help because they are too proud. This is such a shame there are people out there who would be willing to help if you only asked them. It is good that people have self-respect that is a wonderful quality but it can also go too far. It is such a complex thing; we can be proud of our achievements but not to the point of being obnoxious which is too much pride. We can be proud of our children that goes without saying but not to the point where you are stuffing it down other peoples throats that your kids are better than theirs etc.
Pride to me means accepting who you are and being proud of all you stand for. Regardless of what you believe or think, nobody should be able to make you feel ashamed of who you are or what you stand for. To me pride is saying to the world, “this is who I am and I’m proud of it”.
Worrying about what others think of you – I have talked about this before and it is something I used to be so guilty of. Sometimes I still get a bit of this but nowhere near as much. My life was on hold completely because I was just worried about what other people thought of me. That is just bloody stupid. If this is the way you live your life you will end up achieving nothing. Live your dreams and fuck what other people think. As long as what you do hurts no one then do it.
Excuses – We need to stop making excuses for other people, unfortunately, some people are just bad – end of. We also need to stop making excuses for ourselves and face things head on and start doing what we need to do. You can’t live in limbo. I was the worlds worst at making excuses for other peoples behaviour and give them a second chance, a third chance, a fourth chance. Nooooooo a BIG no. Sorry, but we need to get hardcore now and man up. Stop making excuses for other peoples behaviour and our own.
Dependency on social media – I’ve kind of touched on this before. I think we need to go on our phones and delete any apps we don’t use. You can also get apps that decrease the time you spend on social media. It is a difficult one for me because my job is social media and internet based so I have to try and find a healthy balance.
I think if you wrote down how many times you picked up your phone in one day you would be seriously shocked. It might actually be worth one day doing this; write down every time you pick it up, what you were doing on it and for how long then tot it all up at the end of the day. We need to start living a real life and not a virtual one.
Comfort zone – Again this is something I have talked about before. I promise you hand on heart you will get nowhere in life unless you push yourself and get out of your comfort zone. You will just keep plodding along exactly the same for the rest of your life. If you really want to achieve something you have to push yourself there is no other way.
Things don’t change on their own you have to make the change. That horrible feeling you get when you are outside of your comfort zone is actually a good feeling. That is the feeling you get when things are about to happen. You just feel jittery about it because you are not used to that feeling. Getting out of your comfort zone could be the start of something absolutely amazing and I know this is true. I’ve done it.
Failing to look after your body – Your health is so important. I learnt that this year while being on The Fast Fix Documentary. My health has deteriorated so much over the years but it is mostly down to unhealthy habits. Eating far too much of the processed foods and not enough exercise has a knock on effect which can hit you like a train it really can.
There are so many chemicals in the food chain it’s scary. Try and eat clean healthy food, plenty of vegetables, fruit, healthy fats, nuts, berries, good quality meat etc. Move more and you don’t need to go to a gym, just walking for 10-15 minutes twice a day can make a huge difference to your life and the quality of it. It has an effect on stress levels and also the quality of your sleep.
Grudges – These are lethal and they make you bitter. A bitter person is in a bad place. It’s a vicious quality or habit to have. I’m a big believer in karma and so I don’t hold grudges. I know it sounds hard but to be able to forgive is seriously important. You have to forgive and move on. The more you do it the easier it gets and the better you feel.
Bad habits – we all have them we really do. The best way to deal with them though is to tackle one at a time a maximum of 2 otherwise you just end up giving up as it is too much to work on. The best way to incorporate good habits is to do something called habit stacking.
So basically you attach a good habit onto another one that already exists. So for example, if you need to start flossing your teeth. Put the floss next to your toothbrush and just attach it to cleaning your teeth. It will eventually become second nature rather than decide to floss in the middle of the day for example. As with bad habits they are sometimes caused by triggers and the habit in question is a reaction to the trigger.
Because of this, you need to look at the triggers that cause the bad habit and once you acknowledge it you need to find another way to deal with the trigger or remove the trigger. I learnt this yesterday in my weight loss coaching studies.
The grass is always greener – This is a really bad attitude and it kind of goes hand in hand with comparing yourself to others. The grass isn’t greener on the other side of the fence and if it is nine times out of ten its because it has been fertilised with bullshit – nothing more.
Trying to make everyone happy – I’ve been guilty of this far too much. I’ve stayed in relationships far too long just because I didn’t want to hurt them by ending it. How stupid is that? I’m living a lie and am making myself unhappy because I didn’t want to hurt them even though they made me miserable.
You seriously need to make yourself happy first and foremost. Your happiness is your responsibility. If you are not happy something needs to change. And yes sometimes it will make you initially feel bad but ultimately you will feel a lot better and happier for it. Be brave and also learn to say no! You can’t be all things to all people and you can’t pour from an empty cup. Put yourself first!
Anything or anyone that doesn’t make you happy – To summarise anything or anyone in your life that doesn’t bring you joy or happiness you need to detach yourself and get rid of them or it. That doesn’t mean you can go around and shoot someone – just saying! But we really do need to start being kinder to ourselves and make our lives easier and happier wherever we can.
Back to the lists; it might be worth you sitting down and writing a list of things in your life that you don’t want anymore. A list of things that you are happy with and a list of things you want to do.
So the weekend is upon us I hope you are all doing something good and if not just enjoy your time off. It’s been a long week.
I now have 2 people who have volunteered their services for free weight loss coaching sessions by yours truly which will start sometime in the next couple of months and this will include Reiki but only if they would like it it’s by no means compulsory. I’m just in the process of putting the paperwork together and getting it all organised etc. So much to do and so little time but very exciting nonetheless.
I have a Birchbox review to do over the next couple of days and also a podcast. If there is anything anyone wants me to cover on the podcast please message me.
So until the next time have a lovely weekend and catch you soon.